I have three daughters who are always calling out to me, “mom, mom” longing for attention and love. Due to having to transfer from our mission organization’s headquarters to a local branch, the worship time that I had planned to have with them kept being postponed. We communicated only when we needed something from each other.
Four month after we moved to Busan, I explained Deuteronomy 6 to my oldest daughter who had just learned how to read. I told her that children who love the Lord should engrave the commandments on their hearts. Then, we began with Genesis 1.
She kept fidgeting and looking around because it was the first time she was ever required to focus on the Word of God.
“Young-ji, it’s not easy to read the Bible, right?”
She looked at me and nodded in agreement.
“By the way, what was the Lord saying here?”
She hesitated for a moment and said, “Mom, the first day, the second day… and on the sixth day God created man and God saw that it was good.”
She shuttered a little, but she explained all that she understood. In that moment, I saw that it was God who was personally talking to and teaching my daughter. I was at a loss for words.
I felt so sorry for my children because I could not spend time with them; but when the Lord spoke to my daughter and she understood Him, It made me cry.
“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! (Isaiah 49:15)”
I was so busy with other things that I used it as an excuse not to worship with my daughters. But the Lord never forgot my children even for a moment and was speaking to them even when I was not. After this, we asked God for forgiveness for not having our private worship and sharing time. I thanked God for His grace and mercy.
When I reminisce about the past four months, I realize that it was a period of grace given to me by God to enable me to understand His heart. I pondered a lot while meeting with my fellow faith workers through mobilization and training missions. I sometimes criticized them for their lack of faith. But as time went by, I realized that what I saw in them was actually in me. I felt ashamed because the situations, challenges and the limitations of my surroundings caused me to be easily swayed.
So, I cannot help but to hold on to the Words of promise that the Lord gave me this year.
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear. (1 John 4:18)”
Through God’s infinite grace, this unqualified person has become a servant of God.
Eun-ju Choi, Missionary – The writer has dedicated herself to serving the community with her three children. Since the beginning of the year, she is now enjoying the Lord’s grace through missionary mobilization works with her husband, missionary Pil-Young Yoon.