There was a ceremony for the completion of the training course that I was serving while ago. We earnestly prepared the ceremony for a meaningful time to send out the trainees and servers who had the God’s heart to each place that called them missionary beings. I already ordered the flowers and the certificates to bless the trainees and servers and prepared delicious meals and the rice cakes that should not be missed for the feast.
In the morning for the ceremony, I dropped by the rice cake shop to take it back I ordered. However, the boss said that he ordered his son to bake the rice cake but the boss kept saying that I did not know at all. I was embarrassed and angry at the attitude of the boss who had no sign of sorry, and I poured out what I wanted to say.
“Boss, you and your son managed your rice cake shop but if your son already missed the order then should the boss be responsible for missing orders? Our buying is not like for small home orders but you made a big, big mistake since what we ordered was lots of rice cakes for a big event.”
Once I exactly poured out what I wanted to say but at the moment I thought that ‘What day is today?’ At the same time, ‘If he knew that I was a missionary…’ I could not speak any more because of the stab. I finished to buy a little rice cake already made.
This incident has been in my mind for several days. I was trying to say that I was just telling about his irresponsibility, which he did not say “I’m sorry.” Then I attended to the prayers’ place. It was “2 Samuel Chap.16”. When David reached Bahurim, the Lord stopped me through David’s reaction in the scene where a man named Shimei threw stones at him and continued to curse him.
David must give Shimei a scary blow to the king’s authority in front of his servants, and he is silently insulted by his servant who is trying to cut Shimei’s head, saying, “Let him curse.” I could find the belief in David, who does not repay evil with evil, in the hands of God.
He did not take his gaze away from God who told him even if he was unfair. He knew that all this was related to his crime, and the perception that he was also worthy of curses quieted him. Even though he suffered unfairly from him, he saw Jesus who had gone silently on the path of the cross.
And even if I did not try to compare it, I also saw a person’s smell and smell of ‘myself’. The light of truth illuminated me. It was too late for me to see that the situation which seemed unfair was like a wrapping paper that made God stand out. If I had tried to see what God was doing in front of the boss’s reaction, I could have prevented emotional response.
I was standing in front of the Words and with regret, shame and repentance in front of the Lord. Sometimes I face an unfair situation, a person who cannot love, a person who wrapped up in a hair and is worried about me and I face me standing in a fast position to cover up the grudge and grudge. However, there was a desire to see God who is not immersed in an unintelligible situation and directs the situation.
The Lord called again the persons who changed their existence to Jesus life, not to be careful about the behavior by wearing the clothes of missionary. Don’t persuade me to say something long enough to judge justification and reason, just show me the cross… though I had no face… I prayed.
I already continued to forget where I was relieved, where I left me and moved my place, and I was grateful to see that the big and small difficulties were nesting in my mind and to stand in the first place again. We all received overflowing benefits. Don’t forget. I was the right one to be cursed and I was fully graced.
I want to share my heart with the president of the rice cake house when I have the opportunity.
I am sorry that I cannot love him, and I want the president to be given the grace and to be saved.
Koo Kyung Sun
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